I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
