Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
