I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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