You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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