Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
