8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
