Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
