I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
