So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
