the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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