mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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