New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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