This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
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You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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