I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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