i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
