someone get that fucking seahorse.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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