The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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