Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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