you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
