hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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