dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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