Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
