I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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