how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
