She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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