No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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