i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize