Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
