we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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