you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
