I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize