Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
