We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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