It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I have post one night stand depression
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
