before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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