another moral hangover. fuck.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
