cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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