He uses pillows to masturbate.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Never joke about your clitoris.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
