No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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