I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize