No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
