brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
