My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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