She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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