belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
