The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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