return my video game
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
