I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize