if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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