I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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