I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize