Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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