why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Who put my cat in the fridge?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
