remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
