I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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