Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
