Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
