He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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