Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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