just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
