Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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