Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
handjob tips. give me some.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
