i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So vagazzling was a success
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
