he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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