Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is wine microwaveable?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
