i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
